Passionate ADHD and Me

Looking back on the year of 2018 - bittersweet ... Last year this time, we had lost our business about a year ago, my husband had finally found a new job round about the middle of the year but I was still unemployed, and our situation was so bad that we couldn't even find a house to stay in - but thankfully we did eventually find one mid October 2017. I was off my medication now for almost a full year due to the financial constraints surrounding ADHD and ritalin/methylphenidate/concerta etc. When things were really difficult according to my standards I would pinch my children's extra Ritalin dose (remember they are being treated for free at the local state hospital) to try and cope or I would isolate myself - I would read, cry, write in my journal or listen to my music really loud.  It was a terrible time, I felt like I was riding an emotional roller coaster and I also felt alone and betrayed by those closest to me. Just after we moved into the new house I got a new jo...

That Parent … Yesterday was the 11 th Anniversary of the day that Jesus called my Daddy up to heaven …   Not a day goes by since that horrible day 11 years ago that I don’t think about him in some way.   He was a man of integrity, of principle and what he said he did – he was loyal and faithful to us till the day he died.   My father was also diagnosed at the age of 30 or so with Fascio Scapular Humeral – a form of Muscular Dystrophy that attacks the muscle group – basically the muscles you use to walk, sit, stand, turn around in bed, lift things, bend, pick things up and then your facial muscles – my dad could never blow up a balloon.   I spent a lifetime watching someone I loved and admired and trusted grow weaker every day and there was nothing we could do to change it. Be that as it may he went to work every day and we had everything we needed as a family – except though that he did not quite understand my condition and as I got older...

When the dose isn’t right !! This wasn’t what I had in mind for my second blog post but this happens so often I just have to write about it – expect more on this subject in future. Recently, I was at our local state hospital ... Nightmare!! I resent having to take my children there.   But its either this or no medication at the moment, due to the financial dynamics of ADHD – Shocking and disgraceful when you read how AIDS patients – who get ill because of something they did get free medical care from experienced doctors AND the right dose of medication … The doctors are young, they have no real experience with ADHD and to make matters worse the pharmacists think they can “play boss.”   And with it being a state institution you get treated like you should be thankful they are helping you at all, it’s just horrible. I had explained my reasons for wanting my 13 year olds dosage increased from just 30mgs of Ritalin LA (long acting) to 90 mgs.   I had ...

I can remember growing up and hearing people saying, Hyperactive? ... "she should be in a special school, she is retarded, she is not like other children" ... Well I went through nursery school, then on to gr 1 through to the end of Matric and then on to college, without ever failing – with ADHD but because of Ritalin, because of a mother who believed in me and a doctor who knew what he was doing! When I started treatment for ADHD people even family stereotyped me and warned my mother about all the bad things regarding Ritalin – well thank goodness it supposedly stunted my growth.   I am a 1.85m tall blonde woman with blue eyes.   Addictive it is they would say – Really?!! then why would it only work for 3 hours at a time?   And WHY would I not bother to remember to drink my pills on my own?? ADHD shows up in real life in a vast number of ways, and it’s sometimes hard to recognise the symptoms myself because I was born this way its my “normal”  It has...